Name: Gao Xiaolian Age: 42 Gender: Female Occupation: Housewife Appearance: A Chinese woman with an average height and weight of a woman. She has black, short hair. Location: Nanking Personality/Quirks/Unique Personality Traits: She is very kind and willing to help others if she can. She loves her family very much and will do anything to protect them from harmful people and events. Family: Husband and son in the military, a younger brother named Gao Qing Wen (Alex), and two daughters named Gao Jing Wei (Christine) and Gao Ming Ming (Cecilia). Education: Only finished to middle school because she had to help her family with their work. Languages you speak: Chinese Your main concerns at this time and in life: Since all the men of the house are out to fight, she has to care for her daughter by herself. Also she needs to work very hard to provide food and safety for her daughter and herself, and survive through the rough times.
Diary Entry #1: November 1, 1937
As the sun went down yesterday, although what I had prepared for dinner was very little, I tried my best to give my daughters, Gao Jing Wei and Gao Ming Ming, plenty of nutrients as I could. The cold wind came into the house through the cracks in the window, and soon enough the temperature in the room dropped. These days I am so upset and disappointed at myself for everything, but especially for not being able to do anything for my daughters. After the short dinner, my daughters and I were sewing and talking about our problems, but it was soon interrupted by two soldiers who had broken in to our house. I pulled Gao Jing Wei and Gao Ming Ming close to me and whispered into their ears, saying to run away through the backdoor when I take the soldiers’ attention away from my daughters. They refused but as the soldiers came closer to us, I had to push them towards the backdoor so that they would be safe. The soldiers became very mad as they tried to catch my daughters but I used all of my body strength to keep them away from them. It was obvious that they were very enraged since I was able to feel their anger. However I couldn’t let them rape my daughters and treat them as animals. I tried to run away from them, but it was too late for me. They grabbed my hair and pushed me against the wall. The pain spread throughout my body and the more I tried to resist them, they threw me on the ground, hit me, and even did unbelievable things. When I woke up this morning, I was laying down one the kitchen floor, but I couldn’t remember what happened after I was thrown down on the floor. As I was trying to think about what happened to me, I realized that my daughters didn’t come back. Since there were bombs blowing around the neighborhood, I started to worry about them more, so I dressed up as fast as I could and went around the neighborhood. I went to all the places that they could go to, but they weren't there. I didn’t eat nor drank anything. I searched for signs and tracks of my daughters, but there was no hope. After hours and hours of searching, I came back home. Right now, I just don’t know what to do. After the rape, I... I am physically and mentally damaged. However, I need to find my daughters and keep searching for her, so I need to go now! Please God, help me find Gao Jing Wei and Gao Ming Ming.
Diary Entry #2: January 19th, 1938
Wow, it's been a while writing on this diary! Today is January 19th, 1938. From the last diary entry, a lot of things had happened in my life. After my daughters had ran away, I couldn't find them for over a month. A month without Gao Jing Wei and Gao Ming Ming was dreadful as time went very slowly. Millions of thoughts and horrible imaginations went through my head but I never gave up, not even all the bombing stopped me from finding my daughters. The year of 1937 was the only year that I didn't spend Christmas with Gao Jing Wei and Gao Ming Ming. However, later that day, some soldiers found me walking around the street, wondering around. You might have guessed but yes, I did get raped again. That was the only time that I was thankful that my daughters weren't with me. I wanted to die so badly and thought of committing suicide after two days if I still couldn't find my daughters then. However, I guess God didn't want me to die. I planned to hang myself in the forest, but on December 27th, 1937, I found Gao Jing Wei and Gao Ming Ming wandering in the forest. I burst into tears with happiness and hugged my daughters. Since the forest was very far away from our house and the soldiers knew where I lived, we decided to find a shelter in the woods. Thankfully, there was an empty house in the forest. It was very small, but it was perfect for three of us. We stayed there for only few weeks because we didn't have any food or things in the forest. After few weeks of living in the forest, we finally came out to the city. Of course, it was a disaster and we didn't know where to go nor what to do. When we were walking around trying to find some food without getting caught from the Japanese soldiers, we saw the shadow of three men following us from the behind. We were scared but we were sure that they weren't Japanese soldiers because they didn't attack. However, we were still worried until one of the guys called us. His name was John Rabe. He was a German businessman who was saving and providing food and shelters for more than 200,000 Chinese people. With his help, we are now provided with proper shelter, nice food, and most importantly, protection from the Japanese soldiers. I am so glad that we met Mr. Rabe, and finally my worries are starting to disappear. My daughters look much happier and we are safe now, all together.
Diary Entry #3: July 29th, 1945
As my daughters and I lived safely with John Rabe, I finally got in touch with my brother, Gao Qing Wen. He used to live with our family when we were young, but to achieve his goals as a businessman, he lives in Hong Kong. To tell the truth, even though my daughters and I were safe, I was very scared and worried in the inside. Also, since Hong Kong was now freed from the Japanese rule and I haven't talked to my brother for a long time, I decided to write a letter to him. This is what I wrote to my brother:
"Dear Qing Wen,
How are you these days? I bet it is very hard to live under the Japanese rule. When are the Japanese ever going to surrender? Anyway, it has been such a long time since we talked to each other. I really miss my little brother. Did I tell you before? Few years ago, we met this German businessman in Nanking who helped us with food, shelter, and even protection from the Japanese soldiers. I am so glad and thankful that God helped us until right now. However, you don't know how much I am worried and afraid in the inside. Since Japanese aren't still surrendering, I do think the war would go on for a long time unless something really bad happens to their country. I hope something bad happens to the Japanese. I mean, we had to go through all the rapes, killings, and other violent actions for six weeks. FOR SIX WEEKS! I'm sorry about going crazy in this letter, but you are the only one that I can say this to. I hope you'll understand. Anyway, how is your business going? I truly miss you a lot and hope all is well in Hong Kong! I hope we can see each other when the war ends. Talk to you soon.
Love, Xiaolian"
I may have went overboard with my words, but we, Chinese people living in Nanking, had to suffer the painful atrocities for six weeks in 1937 under the Japanese army. Also, after hearing about what the Japanese had done to the Koreans, I was disgusted. Why do they have to be so violent and evil? Something needs to happen to the Japanese! They need to learn a lesson!!! However, I just wish the war would end so I can reunite with my brother, husband, and my son. WITH GREAT PUNISHMENT FOR JAPAN.
Diary Entry #4: December 7th, 1972
Today was a very tiring day. Our family just came back from the winter vacation to Hawaii. At the airport, this funny thing happened. When my husband and my children went to buy last moment souvenirs and gifts, I was sitting on a bench, waiting for them. Next to me, there was this man who looked like a Japanese, but I didn’t really care who he was. Then, this American man dressed in a military uniform with a banner that said, “31 Years Anniversary in Remembrance of the Attack of Pearl Harbor.” That banner just made me say the word “pitiful”. I asked the guy next to me about the attack of Pearl Harbor. He answered, “What exactly is pitiful?” The guy’s name was Fuji Yamaguchi. He was a Japanese, but what exactly is PITIFUL? That question just made me start a conversation. Although he was a Japanese, I had to talk about how our generation has been hungry for power and thirsty for blood. Also, I talked about the Japanese invasion of China, and blamed the Japanese for causing so much pain and suffering in many countries, especially China. However I did feel sympathy for the Japanese civilians who had to pay for the government’s corrupted ambition. Then I realized that I was talking with a Japanese guy. Because of all the things that I said about the Japanese, I felt like I had to apologize to him. However, thinking about what the Japanese had done to our country, I just said nothing. I think that made Fuji Yamaguchi to leave, but I said everything that I needed to say. I hope he understands how many countries had to suffer because of his country. However, during and after the flight the conversation kept coming into my mind. It reminded me about the past events that I really wanted to forget, except the atomic bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. I prayed to God every morning and night to punish the Japanese and he surely answered my prayers. I know the atomic bombing was cruel and very brutal. Japanese needed to pay off what they did to China and other countries. Think about it. All the massacres, torture, atrocities, human experiments. Japanese certainly deserved that punishment. Thinking about the past events made me tear up and feel great hate towards Japan again. However, the war is over, and Japan had their punishments and hopefully learned their lesson. I just wish nothing like World War II or any other wars would happen again, brining suffering and pain into people’s lives.
Name: Gao Xiaolian
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Occupation: Housewife
Appearance: A Chinese woman with an average height and weight of a woman. She has black, short hair.
Location: Nanking
Personality/Quirks/Unique Personality Traits: She is very kind and willing to help others if she can. She loves her family very much and will do anything to protect them from harmful people and events.
Family: Husband and son in the military, a younger brother named Gao Qing Wen (Alex), and two daughters named Gao Jing Wei (Christine) and Gao Ming Ming (Cecilia).
Education: Only finished to middle school because she had to help her family with their work.
Languages you speak: Chinese
Your main concerns at this time and in life: Since all the men of the house are out to fight, she has to care for her daughter by herself. Also she needs to work very hard to provide food and safety for her daughter and herself, and survive through the rough times.
Diary Entry #1: November 1, 1937
As the sun went down yesterday, although what I had prepared for dinner was very little, I tried my best to give my daughters, Gao Jing Wei and Gao Ming Ming, plenty of nutrients as I could. The cold wind came into the house through the cracks in the window, and soon enough the temperature in the room dropped. These days I am so upset and disappointed at myself for everything, but especially for not being able to do anything for my daughters. After the short dinner, my daughters and I were sewing and talking about our problems, but it was soon interrupted by two soldiers who had broken in to our house. I pulled Gao Jing Wei and Gao Ming Ming close to me and whispered into their ears, saying to run away through the backdoor when I take the soldiers’ attention away from my daughters. They refused but as the soldiers came closer to us, I had to push them towards the backdoor so that they would be safe. The soldiers became very mad as they tried to catch my daughters but I used all of my body strength to keep them away from them. It was obvious that they were very enraged since I was able to feel their anger. However I couldn’t let them rape my daughters and treat them as animals. I tried to run away from them, but it was too late for me. They grabbed my hair and pushed me against the wall. The pain spread throughout my body and the more I tried to resist them, they threw me on the ground, hit me, and even did unbelievable things. When I woke up this morning, I was laying down one the kitchen floor, but I couldn’t remember what happened after I was thrown down on the floor. As I was trying to think about what happened to me, I realized that my daughters didn’t come back. Since there were bombs blowing around the neighborhood, I started to worry about them more, so I dressed up as fast as I could and went around the neighborhood. I went to all the places that they could go to, but they weren't there. I didn’t eat nor drank anything. I searched for signs and tracks of my daughters, but there was no hope. After hours and hours of searching, I came back home. Right now, I just don’t know what to do. After the rape, I... I am physically and mentally damaged. However, I need to find my daughters and keep searching for her, so I need to go now! Please God, help me find Gao Jing Wei and Gao Ming Ming.
Diary Entry #2: January 19th, 1938
Wow, it's been a while writing on this diary! Today is January 19th, 1938. From the last diary entry, a lot of things had happened in my life. After my daughters had ran away, I couldn't find them for over a month. A month without Gao Jing Wei and Gao Ming Ming was dreadful as time went very slowly. Millions of thoughts and horrible imaginations went through my head but I never gave up, not even all the bombing stopped me from finding my daughters. The year of 1937 was the only year that I didn't spend Christmas with Gao Jing Wei and Gao Ming Ming. However, later that day, some soldiers found me walking around the street, wondering around. You might have guessed but yes, I did get raped again. That was the only time that I was thankful that my daughters weren't with me. I wanted to die so badly and thought of committing suicide after two days if I still couldn't find my daughters then. However, I guess God didn't want me to die. I planned to hang myself in the forest, but on December 27th, 1937, I found Gao Jing Wei and Gao Ming Ming wandering in the forest. I burst into tears with happiness and hugged my daughters. Since the forest was very far away from our house and the soldiers knew where I lived, we decided to find a shelter in the woods. Thankfully, there was an empty house in the forest. It was very small, but it was perfect for three of us. We stayed there for only few weeks because we didn't have any food or things in the forest. After few weeks of living in the forest, we finally came out to the city. Of course, it was a disaster and we didn't know where to go nor what to do. When we were walking around trying to find some food without getting caught from the Japanese soldiers, we saw the shadow of three men following us from the behind. We were scared but we were sure that they weren't Japanese soldiers because they didn't attack. However, we were still worried until one of the guys called us. His name was John Rabe. He was a German businessman who was saving and providing food and shelters for more than 200,000 Chinese people. With his help, we are now provided with proper shelter, nice food, and most importantly, protection from the Japanese soldiers. I am so glad that we met Mr. Rabe, and finally my worries are starting to disappear. My daughters look much happier and we are safe now, all together.
Diary Entry #3: July 29th, 1945
As my daughters and I lived safely with John Rabe, I finally got in touch with my brother, Gao Qing Wen. He used to live with our family when we were young, but to achieve his goals as a businessman, he lives in Hong Kong. To tell the truth, even though my daughters and I were safe, I was very scared and worried in the inside. Also, since Hong Kong was now freed from the Japanese rule and I haven't talked to my brother for a long time, I decided to write a letter to him. This is what I wrote to my brother:
"Dear Qing Wen,
How are you these days? I bet it is very hard to live under the Japanese rule. When are the Japanese ever going to surrender? Anyway, it has been such a long time since we talked to each other. I really miss my little brother. Did I tell you before? Few years ago, we met this German businessman in Nanking who helped us with food, shelter, and even protection from the Japanese soldiers. I am so glad and thankful that God helped us until right now. However, you don't know how much I am worried and afraid in the inside. Since Japanese aren't still surrendering, I do think the war would go on for a long time unless something really bad happens to their country. I hope something bad happens to the Japanese. I mean, we had to go through all the rapes, killings, and other violent actions for six weeks. FOR SIX WEEKS! I'm sorry about going crazy in this letter, but you are the only one that I can say this to. I hope you'll understand. Anyway, how is your business going? I truly miss you a lot and hope all is well in Hong Kong! I hope we can see each other when the war ends. Talk to you soon.
Love,
Xiaolian"
I may have went overboard with my words, but we, Chinese people living in Nanking, had to suffer the painful atrocities for six weeks in 1937 under the Japanese army. Also, after hearing about what the Japanese had done to the Koreans, I was disgusted. Why do they have to be so violent and evil? Something needs to happen to the Japanese! They need to learn a lesson!!! However, I just wish the war would end so I can reunite with my brother, husband, and my son. WITH GREAT PUNISHMENT FOR JAPAN.
Diary Entry #4: December 7th, 1972
Today was a very tiring day. Our family just came back from the winter vacation to Hawaii. At the airport, this funny thing happened. When my husband and my children went to buy last moment souvenirs and gifts, I was sitting on a bench, waiting for them. Next to me, there was this man who looked like a Japanese, but I didn’t really care who he was. Then, this American man dressed in a military uniform with a banner that said, “31 Years Anniversary in Remembrance of the Attack of Pearl Harbor.” That banner just made me say the word “pitiful”. I asked the guy next to me about the attack of Pearl Harbor. He answered, “What exactly is pitiful?” The guy’s name was Fuji Yamaguchi. He was a Japanese, but what exactly is PITIFUL? That question just made me start a conversation. Although he was a Japanese, I had to talk about how our generation has been hungry for power and thirsty for blood. Also, I talked about the Japanese invasion of China, and blamed the Japanese for causing so much pain and suffering in many countries, especially China. However I did feel sympathy for the Japanese civilians who had to pay for the government’s corrupted ambition. Then I realized that I was talking with a Japanese guy. Because of all the things that I said about the Japanese, I felt like I had to apologize to him. However, thinking about what the Japanese had done to our country, I just said nothing. I think that made Fuji Yamaguchi to leave, but I said everything that I needed to say. I hope he understands how many countries had to suffer because of his country. However, during and after the flight the conversation kept coming into my mind. It reminded me about the past events that I really wanted to forget, except the atomic bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. I prayed to God every morning and night to punish the Japanese and he surely answered my prayers. I know the atomic bombing was cruel and very brutal. Japanese needed to pay off what they did to China and other countries. Think about it. All the massacres, torture, atrocities, human experiments. Japanese certainly deserved that punishment. Thinking about the past events made me tear up and feel great hate towards Japan again. However, the war is over, and Japan had their punishments and hopefully learned their lesson. I just wish nothing like World War II or any other wars would happen again, brining suffering and pain into people’s lives.